Go F*** Yourself Superwoman

I wrote this poem a few years ago when I was in college. I had just worked a 13 hour shift for my then boss. Because I stayed that extra hour to help him out I had one less hour to work on my midterm for my poetry class. I turned in my paper at midnight, and come to find out the paper was due at 11:59 PM. I was devastated. When I reached out to my professor at 12:00 AM telling him I missed the deadline and I had attached my midterm in the email, he responded with a very clear, "you should have budgeted your time better." 

What you see below is my reaction to that encounter. I ended up submitting this poem for my next assignment. My professor hated it along with a handful of my classmates. The rest of the class loved it, and they spent a good part of the class debating the poem and it's layers. 

This is probably one of the most personal things I have ever written. I hope it strikes debates for years to come. 

Happy Reading Y'all! 

Go Fuck Yourself Superwoman

By LR Leigh

I have a family. They need a house to live in, and the house cost’s money. I need a job to get that money, but I need a car to get to my job. A job I hate. That sucks joy from my soul until I have nothing left to offer. Ah! I know! I’ll go back to school, so I can get a better job. A job I love. So I can have a house for my family to live in. I will make more money and work less. That’s the ticket! It’s so obvious now. Just a few papers and twelve hours of class a week. 

School is great. It gets me closer to having it all. Just have to write papers and turn in a few assignments here and there. But this assignment…it feels like busy work, and I have another paper due? I just turned one in last week! Another assignment due? And a paper? And another paper?! Shit…school is more work! 

More time gone. Time I don’t have. Wait…why did I go back to...? Oh, right…Money. Yeah money would be nice. 

I have to work, and study. And make it to my kid’s damn recital! If I miss another one I am not…then all of this shit…these papers, and fucking lectures…and sleepless nights are for nothing. Then what’s the point!? 

Focus. 

This is what I want. The job, the education, the house, the car, the family. That’s the dream right? I can’t remember…I’m forgetting something. It’s there on the periphery of my mind. Something important…shit! What is it? Something about…taking care of my family. No, I already covered that. They need money so we can spend time together, and go on trips. But I have to work, and study, and write papers…and more papers…and more fucking papers…but there is someone I’m forgetting in all this. Who needs me too…

Shit. My husband.

*All rights reserved. Please do not copy and paste this poem. This is an original work of art and can not be duplicated or used as another's work.*

Life After College...

It's been a minute since I actually wrote anything for myself. Every paper, poem, short story, tweet, and comment were all used as steps to get me closer to my goal. My end game.

I made it. I did it. I did something no one in my family had ever done before. I graduated from college. It's been almost three years since I graduated, and I still have nightmares where I am late to class. In the nightmare I sometimes make it to class but somehow it is the last day of school but it is my first day in class! I wonder if those will ever pass.

Anyway, I did it. For so long, that was the only thing I focused on. Get my degree. All of this chaos will be worth it once I have that degree. All of the sleepless nights, and the endless papers would all be worth it. The degree makes you valuable. Right? 

To say I had tunnel vision is an understatement. I just KNEW that once I graduated, all of my dreams would come true.

What an idiot I was.

The thing I didn't factor in? Networking. Even if you have the degree, it doesn't matter. The job market is all about who you know. And I know NO ONE! I was a full time student, working a FULL TIME forty hour work week job. I have two kids and a husband. I hardly had time to sleep let alone network while I was trying to get my degree. 

Applying for jobs can be soul crushing. Honestly, how can I prove to an algorithm that I am worth the job interview? How do I prove that even though I went to a no-named college that my experience was just as good (if not better) than my peers applying for the same job? The reason why I have my current job is only because I knew someone who knew someone. I didn't "earn" my job. I wasn't "better" than any of the other candidates, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. They don't even care that I have a degree. I don't even get to use my degree. 

Again I say, soul crushing.  

So, now what? Graduate School? Certification of some sort? 

I can't be the only person experiencing this, right? 

I am fortunate that I get to do freelance editing. That is my jam even if the jobs are few and far between. Those jobs are what keep me ticking. They keep the dream alive that maybe one day I will build a big enough name for myself in the publishing industry. 

I think it is important to remind myself that although life after college is not what I thought it would be, it is a huge freaking deal that despite all the odds against me I got that damn degree. It's a celebration. Even if it doesn't always feel like it. 

Happy Reading y'all! Keep the faith! 

Lis

What's Next?

It's time to graduate. The all-nighters are over. You have turned in your final assignments. The only thing left is to walk and get your diploma.

So, what's next?

Now you gotta get a job! The job that helped you get through college now seems like a burden. It's time to hit the pavement (or internet really), and find a job that you have worked so hard to earn.

Let's just pump the brakes for a moment. I had some recent advice come in from my amazing aunt. She told me to just enjoy the process. Enjoy the butterflies you get the first time you land an interview. Enjoy the whole graduation parade. Just take a moment and enjoy life.

It was sage advice. I was getting too nervous about what the heck I was going to do after graduation, that I was missing the actual graduation fun.

So, graduates I say this; congratulations! You rock! Enjoy the next few weeks! The time for job interviews will come, so just bask in your success and relax! You freaking earned it!

Good Luck,

Lisa

C's Make Degrees, But What About Careers?

If you are about to graduate you have probably heard the saying, c's make degrees, and never have I believed that more than now. The pressure of graduation gets heavier every day. I feel myself start to slip on my papers and assignments. I keep thinking that as long as I graduate who cares what my GPA is?

Well apparently, a lot of perspective employers care. With graduation coming in a little less than two months I have been living on Indeed.com. It is a website that connects you to thousands of job listings around the world. That search will leave you with the need to curl up in the corner and beg for your mama. Anyway, I have noticed that more and more companies are asking for my GPA along with my degree or graduation date. Also, there have been a handful of companies asking for a copy of my academic transcript. Let me be clear, these are not jobs in the education field, and these are not jobs for any type of school systems. These were jobs in PR, Marketing, Administrative Assistants, Editing...the list goes on.

So, now I can't help but wonder if the adage should be, c's make degrees, but not careers.

I always believed that grades only mattered if I wanted to go on to graduate school, but now I am not so sure. In an age of over saturation for several careers such as, pharmacology, education, nursing, business, marketing...it looks like companies are now looking for other ways to sort out the cream of the crop from the job pool.

 I recently noticed that in my college career at Georgia Gwinnett College I have only had two professors who did not have their doctorate. It wasn't until I started thinking about graduate school that I realized GGC was making a statement with their staff. They choose to hire the best of the best.

So, yes you can graduate with c's and you will have the same degree as the girl you sat next to in every composition class, but it may not be enough to get you the career you always wanted.

Keep Calm and Make the Word Count!

Hugs,

Lisa