Life After College...

It's been a minute since I actually wrote anything for myself. Every paper, poem, short story, tweet, and comment were all used as steps to get me closer to my goal. My end game.

I made it. I did it. I did something no one in my family had ever done before. I graduated from college. It's been almost three years since I graduated, and I still have nightmares where I am late to class. In the nightmare I sometimes make it to class but somehow it is the last day of school but it is my first day in class! I wonder if those will ever pass.

Anyway, I did it. For so long, that was the only thing I focused on. Get my degree. All of this chaos will be worth it once I have that degree. All of the sleepless nights, and the endless papers would all be worth it. The degree makes you valuable. Right? 

To say I had tunnel vision is an understatement. I just KNEW that once I graduated, all of my dreams would come true.

What an idiot I was.

The thing I didn't factor in? Networking. Even if you have the degree, it doesn't matter. The job market is all about who you know. And I know NO ONE! I was a full time student, working a FULL TIME forty hour work week job. I have two kids and a husband. I hardly had time to sleep let alone network while I was trying to get my degree. 

Applying for jobs can be soul crushing. Honestly, how can I prove to an algorithm that I am worth the job interview? How do I prove that even though I went to a no-named college that my experience was just as good (if not better) than my peers applying for the same job? The reason why I have my current job is only because I knew someone who knew someone. I didn't "earn" my job. I wasn't "better" than any of the other candidates, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. They don't even care that I have a degree. I don't even get to use my degree. 

Again I say, soul crushing.  

So, now what? Graduate School? Certification of some sort? 

I can't be the only person experiencing this, right? 

I am fortunate that I get to do freelance editing. That is my jam even if the jobs are few and far between. Those jobs are what keep me ticking. They keep the dream alive that maybe one day I will build a big enough name for myself in the publishing industry. 

I think it is important to remind myself that although life after college is not what I thought it would be, it is a huge freaking deal that despite all the odds against me I got that damn degree. It's a celebration. Even if it doesn't always feel like it. 

Happy Reading y'all! Keep the faith! 

Lis